Things past by♥Changes♥When confusion takes place

its almost a month since i last updated things in my life.
well.. so many things have changed..
I have been busy the past month.. in my work, studies and ministry..
its been a tiring month.. I do not get enough sleep specially when Thursday comes.
and now.. just last night.. I really ended up everything..about .. that.. and i make sure.. he won't ever disturb me anymore..
so sad.. but i know its worth doing..
this is really is it..
now i'm currently busy with our upcoming concert.. hoo!..
i know and i believe that someday.. soon.. i won't be this disappointed anymore.. on myself.. and others..

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I just wrote that the week before last week.
uhmm.. hays..
so many things had happened
some are good.. and others are bad..

the bad one is.. we've talked again.. I tried to ignore his calls and texts.. and I just did but then there comes a day that I'm in a mood to talk with him.. so we've texted.. but it doesn't end that good..
atleast I became honest to him..
everything is bound for changes and I myself is not excluded in that.
yeah I've changed.. I chose to change hoping for a better result.
I'm tired of the things I used to do. hay.
so yun.. Though I won't deny the fact that I have also been hurt.
Sometimes its really hard to accept the truth but we have to because its the only thing that can set us free.
hay
I just wish I can still help him. Now that I can feel he's angry at me.
whew.
I just hope he can understand me.

God help me.
Its really true that the enemy works after the victory.

Well, inspite of that.. last Sunday we had our 18th KKB Anniversary.. it was a very joyous experience. Though we've been really tired and not all of the plans were properly followed, we knew God moved and God was with us.
Personally I really felt joy from my experience in that event.
biglaan.. I joined that cotillion.. haha.. I really felt nervous when I knew that they are going to include me and that's the night before the program.. so I really felt excited from then on..
aside from it.. I realized how I've missed so much KKB- Calamba since I no longer go there most of the times.. how I wish I can always be there with them but then God reminded me of a more important thing to understand.. that .. that's not my priority.. what's near me is my priority..
ayun.. hehe..
so now.. I starting to miss then again..
though sometimes I feel being alienated when I go there... but still I can sense and feel the joy of the youth.. the heartwarming comfort and welcome.. that's if you know how to approach them.. I mean.. yun ikaw yun gagawa ng first move..
yun..

hays..
I've been confused this past few days..
There's this person whom I'm thinking to talk with again after a long time of silence between us.
hays.. I just want to fix things.. though I know its already hard to put things back. I'm not expecting that he will still listen to me but at least I told him.. hays..
though i'm still expecting a little bit..
but now..
hays..
I don't know what to think.
I feel I'm all alone. I thought we can still fix things but i suppose its the other way around.
Well for me.. I just want him to be happy.
I just want to stop seeing him being hurt when our path cross.
I just want a peace of mind. And most especially.. I want to apologize though its really too late, I just want to set things in their proper places. I just hope he knows this. I don't even expect that he can still remember me. Maybe when he can see me physically.. but when I'm not in his sight.. I doubt he still thinks of me. hays.. I don't know what's happening to me.
I don't know if its right or wrong.
I can't find of a person to whom I can say this thing because I don't know a person who will understand me.
hays.
Atleast I have God.
I know even if no one is with me but I'm with God and God is with me.. no one can ever be against me.

hays..
To you God I entrust everything.. :)
salamat po.. sa strength..
sa courage..
Lord. huhu..
I hope I can talk converse with you now.. hays..
but still thank you..